Fourteen years ago this morning, I, like many of you, had no idea that our world, our country, our lives, were about to forever change.
Like you, I remember very vividly where I was and what I was doing when I heard the first plane had hit the World Trade Center Tower in NYC. I was 8 months pregnant with twins and had just returned home after dropping my almost 3-year old son at pre-school. I was excited because I was getting my hair cut that morning at 9:30 - alone!
I was standing in the kitchen when the phone rang. It was my best friend Diane. I remember her saying, "Are you watching the news? Someone crashed their little plane into the World Trade Center! How do you not see a building like that?!" We talked for a bit, about that and our kids, she told me to turn on the TV. While we were talking, we watched the second plane hit. "OMG!" we both exclaimed nearly simultaneously. I stood rooted in shock. This was no accident...
I went to get my haircut. The girls were young and had no idea what had happened. The radio station they were listening too broke in with the news. I explained to them the horror of what was happening. It was a terrorist attack.
I returned home to learn the south tower had collapsed. In shock and through tears, I was transfixed. What the hell was going on?! I realized we had a friend who was flying out of Boston to LA that morning. Was she on that flight?! (she was not, but it was hours before we knew that) After picking my son up at pre-school, I, like most others, was glued to the TV for the rest of the day. My hormonal and emotional self crying with and for all those I did not know and the pain they and their loved ones were enduring.
My husband was sent home from work as a precaution, as his office was next to an air traffic control center Federal building and they established a perimeter of safety. As I drove to a local hospital to teach a childbirth class that evening, it was surreal that there were barely any cars on the road at 6:30 in the evening on a major highway. It didn't occur to anyone to cancel the class (it was not my call do do so) but we should have. Everyone was already home, trying to understand what was happening to our country. The hospital was locked down. It took forever for me to waddle around to get security to open the door for me. Only about 1/4 of my class showed up. We spent the first half hour processing together, I sent them home early.
I do not personally know anyone who lost their life in the tragedy, but we all know someone who did or someone who knows someone who did. My heart goes out to them today, as it did that day, and always will. If you lost a loved one that day, I am so very deeply sorry for your loss. May peace fill your heart that they will forever be remembered by millions who never knew them.
What I do know, is that day, and in the weeks that followed, there was an amazing transformation in millions of people. The pain and grief of the families who lost loved ones was shared by millions the world over. It was a collective grief. It gave birth to compassion, love, sharing, cooperation, and a collective public sharing of grief, unprecedented in our modern time. We saw grief. We felt grief. We shared grief. We stood together, one nation, united in our grief, united in our commitment to show fear will not win. We worked together, we were resilient, we were compassionate, we helped complete strangers in their time of need. It was not us against them. It was us helping us.
Underneath the horror of the events that happened that day, and because of all the people who lost their lives that day, was born a tremendous gift of grief. September 11th is now a day of public grief keeping. While a horrible act of terrorism claimed thousands of innocent and unsuspecting lives, there was a gift all those beautiful souls left behind. They helped to teach a nation that grief isn't something that "goes away" or that you "get over", it's something that changes us at the very core. They taught us they deserve and need to be remembered and their loved ones need support.
We are never the same after a loved one dies. September 11th, 2001 changed individuals directly impacted by loss, but it also changed our culture. Fourteen years later, we see the importance of grief-keeping and publicly sharing our grief on this day. With memorial services, in the media coverage, and all over social media. It didn't stop the week after, the month after, or even the year after 9/11/2001. It continues every year. The memorial grows. The history is told, and with it, the story of the importance of grieving is shared through the attention given to remembering those lost and seeing the value in these rituals for their loved ones.
What I want everyone to take away from this is that grief keeping is also important when losses are not so "big" or due to an attack on our country. Every life matters, no matter how brief or long lived it is. Every loss matters, no matter the age or circumstances at the time of death. Grief changes you. And as the bereaved, we want nothing more than for our loved one to be remembered and for our pain to be acknowledged as something that we carry with us every single day.
We will never forget is a phrase you see closely tied with September 11th. Please know, it's a phrase every person who has ever lost a loved one carries in their heart, every day, but especially on the anniversary of their loved one's death. If you are participating in grief keeping today as part of the 9/11 memorial (for example sharing a Facebook post), please remember to do the same for that friend or family member who lost their child, spouse, sibling, or other family member or fried on their angelversary, too. Because it matters that your remember them, too, their life and their death.
We will never forget...
Like you, I remember very vividly where I was and what I was doing when I heard the first plane had hit the World Trade Center Tower in NYC. I was 8 months pregnant with twins and had just returned home after dropping my almost 3-year old son at pre-school. I was excited because I was getting my hair cut that morning at 9:30 - alone!
I was standing in the kitchen when the phone rang. It was my best friend Diane. I remember her saying, "Are you watching the news? Someone crashed their little plane into the World Trade Center! How do you not see a building like that?!" We talked for a bit, about that and our kids, she told me to turn on the TV. While we were talking, we watched the second plane hit. "OMG!" we both exclaimed nearly simultaneously. I stood rooted in shock. This was no accident...
I went to get my haircut. The girls were young and had no idea what had happened. The radio station they were listening too broke in with the news. I explained to them the horror of what was happening. It was a terrorist attack.
I returned home to learn the south tower had collapsed. In shock and through tears, I was transfixed. What the hell was going on?! I realized we had a friend who was flying out of Boston to LA that morning. Was she on that flight?! (she was not, but it was hours before we knew that) After picking my son up at pre-school, I, like most others, was glued to the TV for the rest of the day. My hormonal and emotional self crying with and for all those I did not know and the pain they and their loved ones were enduring.
My husband was sent home from work as a precaution, as his office was next to an air traffic control center Federal building and they established a perimeter of safety. As I drove to a local hospital to teach a childbirth class that evening, it was surreal that there were barely any cars on the road at 6:30 in the evening on a major highway. It didn't occur to anyone to cancel the class (it was not my call do do so) but we should have. Everyone was already home, trying to understand what was happening to our country. The hospital was locked down. It took forever for me to waddle around to get security to open the door for me. Only about 1/4 of my class showed up. We spent the first half hour processing together, I sent them home early.
I do not personally know anyone who lost their life in the tragedy, but we all know someone who did or someone who knows someone who did. My heart goes out to them today, as it did that day, and always will. If you lost a loved one that day, I am so very deeply sorry for your loss. May peace fill your heart that they will forever be remembered by millions who never knew them.
What I do know, is that day, and in the weeks that followed, there was an amazing transformation in millions of people. The pain and grief of the families who lost loved ones was shared by millions the world over. It was a collective grief. It gave birth to compassion, love, sharing, cooperation, and a collective public sharing of grief, unprecedented in our modern time. We saw grief. We felt grief. We shared grief. We stood together, one nation, united in our grief, united in our commitment to show fear will not win. We worked together, we were resilient, we were compassionate, we helped complete strangers in their time of need. It was not us against them. It was us helping us.
Underneath the horror of the events that happened that day, and because of all the people who lost their lives that day, was born a tremendous gift of grief. September 11th is now a day of public grief keeping. While a horrible act of terrorism claimed thousands of innocent and unsuspecting lives, there was a gift all those beautiful souls left behind. They helped to teach a nation that grief isn't something that "goes away" or that you "get over", it's something that changes us at the very core. They taught us they deserve and need to be remembered and their loved ones need support.
We are never the same after a loved one dies. September 11th, 2001 changed individuals directly impacted by loss, but it also changed our culture. Fourteen years later, we see the importance of grief-keeping and publicly sharing our grief on this day. With memorial services, in the media coverage, and all over social media. It didn't stop the week after, the month after, or even the year after 9/11/2001. It continues every year. The memorial grows. The history is told, and with it, the story of the importance of grieving is shared through the attention given to remembering those lost and seeing the value in these rituals for their loved ones.
What I want everyone to take away from this is that grief keeping is also important when losses are not so "big" or due to an attack on our country. Every life matters, no matter how brief or long lived it is. Every loss matters, no matter the age or circumstances at the time of death. Grief changes you. And as the bereaved, we want nothing more than for our loved one to be remembered and for our pain to be acknowledged as something that we carry with us every single day.
We will never forget is a phrase you see closely tied with September 11th. Please know, it's a phrase every person who has ever lost a loved one carries in their heart, every day, but especially on the anniversary of their loved one's death. If you are participating in grief keeping today as part of the 9/11 memorial (for example sharing a Facebook post), please remember to do the same for that friend or family member who lost their child, spouse, sibling, or other family member or fried on their angelversary, too. Because it matters that your remember them, too, their life and their death.
We will never forget...
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